Am I being heard!!

Today I had a meeting with my manager and we were discussing my caseload and the barriers that I am facing.  I put on my thinking cap and I thought about one of my teens.  My lovely little pumpkin who is now 16 and will be 17 this year, experienced a grown up moment.  There was talk of him having his goal changed to APPLA-E.  For all of my lovely readers who are not familiar with the Child Welfare System it means Another Planned Permanent Living Arrangement-Emancipation.  To sum it up in a nut shell, it means they are learning to live and take care of themselves while they age out of the system.  Ok...now that you know what this means...back to his story.

My little pumpkin felt defeated when he had his meeting.  Everyone was talking about changing his goal and saying how they felt as if they were disappointing him because they couldn't find him a family.  Every month when I went to visit him we would always talk about the future and what his future had in store for him.  Now is it time to be realistic...my job is to find homes for these kids but some times it doesn't happen that way.  So I prepare them for the "what if I don't find a family".  The decision was made to change his goal to APPLA-E.  While I was still fighting to have his goal stay adoption, I could feel a shift with him over the phone.  He was quite and breathing slow.  I stopped talking because I knew he commanded my attention at that moment.  I knew that he felt like he was being shut out of his own life.

A couple of days later, I went to visit him and took him out to lunch.  As I was driving I asked him "so how do you feel about your goal being changed".  He said with a little attitude, "you guys are going to do what you want to do any way" while rubbing his head.  I pulled my car over, looked him in the eye and said, " this is no longer your recruiter talking to you. What do you want?"  His responds, " I AM NOT READY FOR INDEPENDENT LIVING!! I WANT TO BE ADOPTED! ( This is not an exaggeration he really did say it like that...it shocked me because he thinks he's a tough guy/pretty boy) Alright is what I told him.

It was time to go to work on both parts. He wrote a letter to the judge and I talked to all of his workers.  I am not going to give every detail, but they did end up changing his goal because they felt that it would be in the best interest of him. I then had to close him from my caseload. Was I upset?  You bet! Did it make me tear up and bit? Yes... but not for long.  When his court hearing was over he called me and asked me if I was mad at him.  "Of course not!! Why would I be"! I said.  He was quite and said, "you fought hard for me and we didn't win".  When a teachable moment arrives take advantage of it. After talking with him, he learned that you don't always win, but when you believe in something that will better yourself, keep fighting for it.

I teach my kids to self-advocate and to stand up for themselves when they know it will help them in the long run.  Being in the system can get you down especially when you know there are group of people who can determine your life.  Having a voice and trying to find a voice can be a bit intimidating.  However, these kids need to learn it.  It is our job as workers to listen to what our kids want and need.  Will they always make the right decision? No, but we can at least show them that they ARE BEING HEARD.

This is dedicated to my pumpkin who is going to be the best basketball player/surgeon the world will ever see. 

Something Interesting...

Alot of people can say that they don't like thier job, but I am fortunate to say that I LOVE MY JOB!! One of my passions is working with teens...Well that is what I went to school for and got a degree in Youth Development.  One of the special things about this, is that I work with teens in foster care.  I know Foster Care.  You are probably making a sour face and saying "girl have you lost your mind!" Actually, no.  This is what I was called to do.  You will be surprised of how these kids think and how they use thier creative minds.  I work with a total of 16 kids.  Trust me it can be rough! Sometimes I will walk out with gray hair!

Am I a Foster care worker...No.  My field is in Adoption.  I prepare these kids to for adoption and remind them why they need a family.  Oh I do get the kids that think they are grown and want to be on thier own.  However, when I give it to them straight they tend to change thier minds.  All they want is someone to listen, love, and care for them.  But as we know it is very challenging growing up in the system.

Today I recieved an invitation to one of my kids gradutation.  I am so proud of her!! She has came a long way and she informed me that she recieved a scholorship to a college.  I needed that pick me up! It can become very frustrating working in this type of environment because each child has different issues.  God always finds a way to remind me of why I am here to help these kids.  Just knowing that she has chose live a better life and accept a family that wants to love her forever puts a smile on my face.  See.. there are not all horrible stories when it comes to these kids.  It is so easy to talk about the negative, but we hardly talk about the postitive that these kids do!  It is time to change the thinking process and worry about our children's future.

Ok... I am off of my soap box now.  Alright folks back to work I go! :-)

What would you like to see?

This blogging thing is new to me so bare with me...Not to long ago, I started creating my own events.  I believe in order to have a successful event you have to give what the people want.  Now I am a social butterfly and I always ask people especially in my community , what type of events would they like to see. So I am here now asking my fellow blogger's their opinion.  I plan on working with a group of people to a special walk for a cause.  If you were to come what would you like to have at this event? Fill me with your input! Oh and the first job is Adoption for older youth in care.